Carol:
Welcome back to the podcast. This is a show for leaders who know that results come from people and the systems we build that help people thrive. And today's conversation is about a kind of leadership we don't talk about enough, which is a no matter what leadership. The kind that stays steady, human and accountable over the long haul. And my guest leads an organization that has earned the Portland Business Journal's number one most admired nonprofit recognition for 11 years running. And their work is built on a bold promise, which is 12 plus years of professional mentoring from kindergarten through high school graduation, no matter what. So we're going to talk about what it takes to build trust, psychological safety, and resilience, not as a slogan, but as a daily operating system. My guest today is Traci Rossi, Executive Director of Friends of Children Portland. And Traci is a seasoned nonprofit leader recognized as Portland Business Journal's Women of Influence, a Portland Trailblazers Hometown Hero and a Catlin Gable Distinguished Alumni Community Engagement Award recipient.
So under FriendsPDX's model, professional mentors called friends, make a long-term 12 plus year commitment to youth and families. And in 2024 alone, FriendsPDX supported 404 young people, delivered over 54,000 hours of service and celebrated 21 graduates. And that is what I call outstanding. So Traci, thank you for joining us and welcome to the show. I'm so glad you're here.
Traci:
Thank you for the invitation, Dr. Parker. I'm a thrilled to be here and I'm excited about our conversation.
Carol:
Awesome. Awesome. I know leaders listening today are carrying a lot of complexity and your work really is a masterclass of what it takes to build stability and outcomes through people. So I want to start with understanding your why, your story in terms of what got you into the work that you're doing. And a lot of people can talk about a mission, but fewer people can really build a systems that keep a mission consistent year after year, especially when the stakes of human lives are really high. So what's the through line of your leadership journey and what ultimately pulled you into Friends of the Children?
Traci:
Thank you, Dr. Parker. So I was really reflecting, and I honestly believe that the seeds of leadership for me were sewn when I was just a young child. So my grandparents, Mary Rose Dean and Benjamin Dean, they opened a beauty salon and barbershop here in Portland, which by the way, is the longest running African-American business in the state of Oregon. My grandparents have passed on, but it's still being run by a cousin of mine. But as kids, all of us cousins were running around and we were working at the shop. And I put it in quotations because I really thought we were helping out. But as an adult now, I realize that we were probably not as helpful. But it was really the ethos because my grandparents weren't just running a business, they were building a community. And it was during an era where we were walking down the street and not everyone was necessarily celebrating people of color here in Portland, Oregon. You walked into my grandparents' salon, they were celebrated, they were comforted, and they got their hair done.
And I really believe now, thinking back on those times, my grandmother was the ultimate mentor and my grandfather on the barbershop side, he was the ultimate mentor as well. And we were learning how to care for people, how to see a big picture. This is a business. So while we want people to feel good, this is why I need you all to wash the linens, to wash the towels so that people have fresh, fluffy towels when they come in. This is why I need you to sanitize the combs and brushes because it is really important to have a completely sanitized environment. When the phone rings, we would practice, good afternoon, Dean's Beauty Salon and Barbershop. And this is why first impressions matter, but also ongoing impressions matter. And these are things that I was learning at four and five years of age, and it was just my normal. And so as I got older and I started just interacting in the world, that was just a part of me. It was always me in the moment, but also me stepping outside myself as my grandparents were looking at how this business, how this classroom, how this teacher, student interaction, what's actually happening underneath the surface and what a gift that was and I continued to do that.
Carol:
Wow. What a great legacy. That is so powerful. So watching your grandparents foster that sense of community and foster a place of safety, how did you end up at Friends of the Children?
Traci:
Yeah. So I started my career, I was an English grad, and like many English grads, like, am I going to go to law school or am I going to be a teacher? I was living in Washington DC at the time. So I said, well, let me at first work at a law firm to see if that's interesting if I want to go to law school. And it was a wonderful experience, but something was lacking. And one thing I do remember right before I decided that that wasn't the job for me, we worked very long hours. This was a pretty fancy firm on K Street in DC, if you're familiar with that whole lobbying world. And we would work very late hours. And this was one Friday night where it was maybe eight or 9:00 and it hit me because the men were sitting in their offices and their chairs and they had these really large oak desks and they had their feet on their desk and they were eating their Chinese food with their chopsticks. Very nice and romanticized. And the women ... I remember were walking through the halls and many of them were in tears. And what struck me was that because they were wearing mascara, in my mind I called it the black tears of death.
Carol:
Oh my goodness.
Traci:
So at the time I was like, you know what? Being a lawyer is not for me. It was a terrible example because you can be all kinds of lawyers. You don't have to be a lawyer on K Street. But my dots that I was connecting at that time was there was something going on with the women. I ended up leaving that role and coming back to Portland and recognized that for me, I really needed to have a mission related to the job that I was doing. And I was actually lucky, Dr. Parker, because when I was at the law firm, I also had a role at Xerox Corporation for a while. And when I don't like something, if it's not working for me, I get physically ill, which is lucky because I just gravitate away from it and gravitate towards what I want to do.
So I started working at nonprofits, filled my heart. I was like, "This is why I'm here because I want to give back to my community." I came back, I came back to Portland soon after that. When I came back, I just saw the disparities. So I had gone back East, I'd been in college, I've lived in DC, and Portland was changing. There was a time where Portland did not have these significant disparities the way that we have in the last 30 years. And I was literally ... When I was working in admissions at Catlin Gable, where I also went to school, I love that job. But I remember I was reading the Oregonian one day and it gave the percentage of youth who were not graduating from high school, and they gave the percentage of youth of color who weren't graduating from high school. And it turned out that it was something like 63% of kids of color were not graduating from high school in Portland public schools. And I know we're working really hard to change that, but I read that and I said it out loud to myself. I said, "What is anyone doing about that?" And there was something profound about me saying that out loud. And I said, "I need to do something. I need to make this part of my calling." Because I felt it.
And I was at a beautiful private school, private education, and I did my part to try to really bring in what they at the time called non-traditional students. But I just felt like, you know what? There was so much access and so many opportunities for the youth at that school, they were going to be fine. They were going to be fine no matter what to the point in your introduction. I wasn't making an added value difference that I wanted to make in an organization.
So I decided to go to I Have a Dream. And that's when I started working with underserved youth and started really looking at the bigger picture, started really looking at those statistics around who goes to college, who doesn't. And I remember I Have a Dream as an organization that really focuses on providing opportunities for underserved youth to go to college. And they select a class who are third-graders and then follow those kids and provide mentorship. And it was striking because the founder, Eugene Lang, he was brilliant. And a lot of people, once you hear this, you recognize it. You're working with a third-grader, you want them to go to college. If they come from a family that doesn't have college as part of their narrative, it has no meaning. So we can say, "Oh, we want you to go to college." They don't know what you're talking about. So we would start taking them on field trips to actually be on a college campus and look at a dorm. And so when they start hearing these terms as they got older and they started having these feelings, it was important.
What struck me though is the first time we took a group of third-graders to Lewis & Clark, this happened to be Lewis & Clark, we were crossing the Marquam Bridge and I think it was a third grade girl. It was a third grade girl. I think it was third grade. And I was sitting next to her and she was holding my hand. She goes, "It feels like we're on our way to the future."
Carol:
Oh, wow.
Traci:
They had not been across the bridge before.
Carol:
Wow.
Traci:
Yes. And so here I am thinking the college experience, the college field trip experience was going to be transformational, but it's really just being in a position where you can provide some support to open eyes. And many people have been across the bridge, but you know what? We have youth in our community who have not have had the opportunities to see the world in a larger way for a myriad of reasons. And so that hit my heart and I said, "This is the work for me." And I stayed there for a while. I started out in programs, which I always feel is advantageous because I love the program aspects of any role.
Then I went a couple jobs later, I did do a stint at CDFI, Community Development Financial Institution with Innovative Changes, and it was really like running a bank. I like numbers. I don't love numbers. I started out as an engineer in college, but I did that for nine months. And then three people reached out to me and said, "Hey, there's this job over at Portland State University for a nonprofit called the Center for Women's Leadership." And when the first person asked me about it, they said, "You should try." I said, "I've only been at this job for nine months. I can't. I would be disappointing people." And then someone else said, I said, "No." And the third person said it, I said, "I should really look at this." So I put my hat in the ring. It was a wonderful fit. And so I went over there as their executive director and worked with girls and women who were in college. And we called it leadership development and it was, but it wasn't if you have more confidence, you'll do better in the workforce. It was, you know what? There are inequitable systems in our midst and we need to figure out how to dismantle those systems.
There was also lots of research. You might've heard this before. And it was really interesting because I was giving a speech three months in because for women, you have to be tapped on the shoulder three times often on average before you say yes to going into a leadership position. So I was saying that out loud and I was like, "Gosh, let's tap each other's shoulders. Let's tap our own shoulders, but let's not wait." And then I realized that when I was at Innovative Changes, it took three people ... And I consider myself very confident, a leader. Took three people to tap me on the shoulder before I said yes. And so it's actually very interesting.
Carol:
Yeah.
Traci:
Yeah. So I went over there, loved that, and I was doing it for about three years, and it was a really interesting partnership between a nonprofit and we were affiliated with Portland State University. Loved it. We were going to go statewide and I'm there minding my own business and someone reached out to me to talk to me a little bit about Friends of the Children. And I was like, "Oh, I got some more things to do here." So I originally, again, was hesitant, but I ended up going ahead and applying. And what got me to apply, and the reason that I remain is each role that I've stepped into has had more impact on the community. So I'm able to lead important direct service efforts, but at the same time, going back to that idea of dismantling inequitable systems. I'm also simultaneously talking to community leaders and looking at that big picture to see how when community organizations and leaders in our community can get together, how can we dismantle those systems?
I will say one more thing. I wanted to link that story about the black tears of death. As I got older, and especially when I was at the Center for Women's Leadership, I really reflected back on that moment and looked at it totally differently. And it really is about inequitable system. So those Friday nights, the men ... And this is a generalization, but it happens quite often.
The men had folks at home who were getting the kids ready for soccer that weekend, getting kids ready for basketball, whereas these high-powered women, they were also getting these kids ready for basketball and soccer and meal prep in addition to doing their job. And that was reflected in the tears. And that was such a stark reminder that it takes a toll on all of us when things are inequitable. And now add that burden, different kinds of inequities, but you add that burden to children, and it's not sustainable, it's not fair. And so to the extent that I can be a part of a system to help no matter what, I do want to work myself out of a job. I love the social services sector. I think there's an important role for us, but I want it to be a limited role. I don't want this just to be another piece of support that's a part of what we do as a country. I want to eradicate these problems.
Carol:
Yeah. Wow. What a story. That's impactful. Thank you so much for sharing that. I feel like when I talk to leaders about this concept of leader awareness, which is one of the first pillars of the framework, when I do this work, when we do coaching and consulting, and for me, leader awareness is really being closely attuned with your journey, your story, what motivates you, your why, but also those values that sustain you so that you can always be moving in the direction that is powerful and impactful for you so that you can do the same for the people that you're leading and make the impact through the work that you're doing. And through the story that I heard you tell, I heard consistently that idea of community as a foundation for you, as a legacy, a through line from your grandparents to you constantly peeking around you and asking the question as you said, who's going to do something about this which is really powerful. But then also knowing in terms of your own values that you want to have mission-driven work that you do and that you want to make an impact and for it to be impactful.
And so if I had to put that in a formula of really understanding how as a leader you can do impactful work is to think about what's the through line that's motivating you and what's the key value that drives you in terms of the work that you do and the impact that you want to make through that work. So thank you for sharing that. And I used to be an attorney. I'm a recovering attorney as I often say, so I know about those tears.
Traci:
Yeah. Gosh.
Carol:
That you talk about. Yeah. I was an attorney in the '90s and the equity component of it was very even more stark than it is today, but for sure. Yeah. That's very true. And understanding ... And we see that reflected in the data around so many women leaving the workplace because they just can't handle all of the stuff that's on them to be exceptional at work and exceptional at home and be responsible for people that at work and responsible for people at home. And it's taxing and it does take a [inaudible 00:18:30].
Traci:
It's taxing. It's too much. Yeah.
Carol:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you lead an organization that's been recognized at the highest level in Oregon year after year, which I know is an accidental, but what do you think people are actually admiring? What's behind the curtain reality that creates that trust with Friends of the Children?
Traci:
Yeah. That's a really good question. Well, I think ... I call it our secret sauce, our value proposition is really that longevity of working with youth from preschool through 12th grade. It's 12 and a half years no matter what. And I feel like our society has moved into this, everything's so quick, instant gratification, and it's just not realistic.
We all come from a family of some sort and we just think about their trajectory of a family over time, the personal development, the development of the system of that family, it actually changes its form over that time. And so we have the opportunity to be there with youth and no matter what. And there's always going to be hard times. I think there's this fallacy that underserved kids have hard times. All kids have hard times. When I worked at a private school, it was interesting too. I was giving a talk and I really made this parallel and it was striking. I went to a private school that was 12 and a half years. And what I remember, number one, that was beautiful about that, talking about through lines, was that when you went from kindergarten through first grade, you had your first grade teachers who had your back, but also your kindergarten teachers that you would cross campus with. By the time you were in 12th grade, you had all these people who had your back. That's incredible, in addition to your family. And that is powerful.
Kids mess up all the time. Your favorite teacher or an administrator who's known you for eight, nine years, take you over, sit you down, what did you learn? So when you have an underserved population who don't have teachers that are the through line across those 12 and a half years, that first mistake ... And they're not the only ones, we're all making mistakes. But that first mistake can define them. And that narrative follows them. So I think that the organization is that opportunity for an adult who cares deeply along with their family just to have your back. And that translates into results when they graduate. So they know how to problem solve. They know that there are people who are there for them. We talk a lot about leaders. I love listening to all your podcasts that you've done. All leaders know this, but I think it's easy to forget because we celebrate people's successes and don't always hear their struggles, but failure is fuel. You have to fail. And so when the kids that we're working with recognize that this is just what happens, it's not a character defect, let's talk about it. What did you learn from it? That builds their resilience over time. And I think that's what we're able to do. It's a luxury because we have a world, like I said, of quick cycles, but we are here for the long ride.
When I started in 2020, for everyone, it was devastating. We're in this pandemic, I'm starting a new job. These kids are at home suddenly. And I remember as one of the mentors who'd been here for a minute, 12 years, and said, You know what? "I know this is hard, Traci, and you're starting out, but this is going to be a blip on the radar because we have the long-term opportunities to work with you." That really changed how I looked at it, and I think that's what it is that we have some time.
Carol:
Yeah. I love that. That longevity is really powerful. You talked about leadership and people for leadership starts with that self-leadership and we went through leadership awareness. But in the last year, what have you learned about yourself as a leader that's changed how you show up?
Traci:
Yeah. It's interesting. I've been at this work for a long time now, almost 25, 30 years. And I was at a ... Not a real retreat. It was just a girlfriend's trip and you know how you sometimes you'll do little goody bags and so my friends gave us all goody bags. And one of the pens that she put in my goody bag and it said, "Take up space." And I was like, "Yeah, we should take up space." But I started reflecting and I annotated that pen to create space. And I think in the last year, that is really where I'm settling in, is that I'm still full in and I love this work and I have a lot of opportunities because I have been doing it for a while and people will approach me to sit on this board or to take this leadership role. And I say, "Well, you know what? I have three young women ... Not always young women, but often young women. It's just how I'm wired. Who might be a good fit for this." And they just don't have the platform yet. And so I have an opportunity to put them on a platform. And so I believe that's where I'm at right now, is creating space because I'm sure this is true for you, Dr. Parker, that's what was done for me.
Carol:
Yeah. Yeah. For sure. It's interesting as you speak, I still hear that community that still taking care of, looking after, having space, as you talk about creating space the same way that you shared opening up. Every strength has a shadow and at the executive level, your shadow can really dictate the culture within the organization. Where do your strengths cast a shadow and what are you doing to keep that shadow from costing people or leading them in the right or wrong direction? Because who we are reflects ... I always say the pace of the team is always said by the pace of the leader, right?
Traci:
Yes.
Carol:
So where does that impact the culture that you're creating of the people that are working there?
Traci:
Yeah. I've been thinking about this recently. Becoming a leader ... We talked a little bit about this. It is a very lonely space because you do not have a peer within your organization. You have your leadership team and they're very helpful, very collaborative, but they also are your direct reports. I have a board, wonderful, but I also report to them. And so not having that lateral piece. What I've noticed in doing this work is I go back to that direct service systems change dichotomy. I live a little bit further up here because that's where I have more impact. The mentors on the ground, they're nailing that direct service piece. But what I have become conscious of is by doing that work, that community work, it can create a distance. I'm very close to my leadership team, but the folks who are on the ground, it's hard. And that's not me. I'm a very relationship person. I get very close to people, but that has been something that I've not been able to maintain. And so I'm going back to basics a little bit because it's really important. I don't want my leadership to be this mystery.
I have a very introverted son and he's wonderful. And when he was younger, he didn't talk a lot like fourth or fifth grade and teachers would insert their narrative about what he had to say. So we had conversations for a couple of years like, "If you don't say what's on your mind, other people were going to tell you what you're saying." And so I feel like that can happen of a leadership vacuum if you're not present with people. So what I'm trying to do is be more actively engaged.
And so when I first started back in 2020 at Friends of the Children, I had the series of conversations with all the staff. There were about 88 people. It took me over a year. And it was called a Friendly 15. And at that time it was online because we were all stuck online, but I would meet with everyone for 15 minutes. And to this day, when I talk to people, I remember what those ... I took notes. But I remember what those 15 minutes represented. I got a great snapshot. Going back to those phone calls at the shop when my grandmother's first impressions and ongoing impressions, I got a really good first impression. And what I love about our organization is the consistency because those first impressions continue to be the same impressions. They match. And so I am reinstituting ... It's going to take me a year. The Friendly 15s, but I want to go back to that so that people have time. It's different. We have all staff meetings, we have a lot of convenings and I still engage with people, but in groups. I really want to have an opportunity to meet with people and hear what they have to say.
Carol:
Yeah. I love that so much because I know we can get so busy with everything else is going and driving results and meeting expectations and ensuring excellent delivery, but I love this idea of just periodically taking a pause and going back to the basics. And I love the Friendly 15. I think that's a phenomenal tool that hopefully people will borrow to not losing ... And it's because you don't want to lose touch with your people and to be more present and to have that feedback loop, to get that information to make sure that what you're thinking ... Because as you said, you're a little removed obviously at that senior level. And responding to the board and making sure that everything is running across the board and that people on the ground, it can get lost. So I love that Friendly 15 and not losing touch and having that periodic check-in to get back to the basics. That is phenomenal. And I think that's so important that organizations continue to have that feedback loop, whether it's frequent or quarterly or whatever it is that you make sure that if you haven't done it in a while, that you get back to doing it in the future.
I want to talk about executive judgment, not the easy calls, but the real ones. Because I know FriendsPDX shared that you're in your two five-year strategic plan and you made the decision to use board designated funds to cover a deficit while executing the plan. Walk us through the leadership thinking behind that decision and how did you weigh people's sustainability and impact as you made that decision?
Traci:
Yeah. So our board designated funds, just to give a little context, it was back in 2022, I think '22, '23. So it wasn't this dramatic, but the simple version is there's a final call after a series of calls and conversations, and Friends of the Children Portland was the recipient of a $7.7 million gift from MacKenzie Scott. And that is an executive director's dream. Like "Wow. This is awesome." And then it's the reality of what does that mean as a leader and as a board? One of the things that I appreciate that she said is ... The only thing she said is, "I do not want these to be used as endowment dollars. I want you to put them to work." Because the first thing that [inaudible 00:30:05] the board was like, "Oh, let's save it." But no, she wanted to put it to use. And so this is post pandemic, but we're still in it.
When I arrived in 2020, I did my first pro forma and didn't realize that our salaries were not where I would've expected them to be. And so that first summer with the board, we increased salaries pretty significantly. They've got up to 46,000. And that's not enough, but it was what we could do responsibly. And then we said, okay, we're going to increase to 50 when we have the opportunity to, and that we're still in post-pandemic. So the next year went by, we weren't able to do a jump. Then we got the 7.7. And so we said we're going to do some strategic planning, but the number one thing that we're going to do is we want to make sure that you guys are not only competitive, but actually a little higher than competitive because retention with the 12 and a half years is really important. Good work-life balance is really important. And more than that, in order to run an organization that says that we want to impact the cycle of generational poverty, it's very important to me that the people who work there can live comfortably. And so that was a driver. And so we made that, we got them up to not 50, but 55. And that was a significant investment.
And so having that vision, because I knew ... There's a song. I remember it was a couple of weeks after we got the dollars. And as a leader, you're just thinking about the implications. And there's a song, I don't know if you know the songs like Everybody's Mad. I was like, it's almost like you're winning the lottery because when you're not really looking at a budget every day ... It is a lot of money. But also everything that we spend after that money goes away has to be replaced then with the new income stream. So we had to be very careful. And so that's how we used them as board designated funds and really had this five-year vision about using those dollars so that we could slowly increase our fundraising to meet the need of now a higher budget. And that's what we have done. And it took a lot of thought, took a lot of time, but it is most important to make sure that our folks were whole.
Carol:
Yeah. I love that. Yeah, to keep that in mind. And I love that you talked about making sure there was balance, that people who were being overstretched or were pulled to make sure that that's something that you keep in mind to think about to make sure that your people are going to be negatively impacted by anything that's going on. Yeah.
Traci:
Yeah. And the other thing about that, it was a good lesson. We try to provide ... People come to their roles for a reason. So if you're in finance, obviously you're going to know a lot about the financial health of the organization. If you're in development, you're fundraising. If you're a mentor, you're really most focused on the youth. But in this day and age, what I have really since the MacKenzie Scott Funds, we have really been very focused on making sure that every single individual in the organization understands how the finances work because I just think that's an important skillset for anyone who's working within an organization.
Carol:
Yeah. Yeah. That's very smart. So let me ask you this. How do you build trust and alignment across your mentors, program leaders, caregivers, schools, and community partners so people can actually execute well together? Because what we know is that your mentors are the frontline of the brand and the work shows up in those moments of pressure. So how are you working to build that trust and alignment?
Traci:
Yeah. We really make an effort. I have a wonderful HR director, and it's that values piece, again, that's infused throughout the organization because the program managers are integral to what you're saying. They really have to be in a position that they can help mentors grow and develop, do the things that they need to do. And one of the things that I've noticed is that when you have folks who are in roles and there's a lot of mentors who go on to be program managers, that is a very difficult transition because number one, you're also overseeing your former colleagues, but also it's a different skillset to manage and really taking the time as an organization to provide that professional development and training for managers so that they understand the vision and the values coming from my office, but that the program managers feel empowered, supported, they're developing so they can also provide those tools to the mentors. And that's been an important thrust of our strategic plan is continuous education. What I love about the organization is that we do mentoring, but from a leadership values perspective, mentoring is what we live. And so that professional development, that continuous learning is a form of mentoring our folks internally and really living into that value is really important.
Carol:
Yeah. Yeah. And that sounds really powerful. So on the flip side, what happens when there is misalignment? What happens when there's conflict on a team? What approach do you take in handling in a way that really strengthens the culture instead of breaking trust?
Traci:
I think that building relationships is really important, healthy relationships. So having that ability and willingness to talk. I don't believe that when people reach out to HR, it's because something's wrong. I think that it's an opportunity for them to figure out that they might need some additional tools. And so having that transparency across the organization. If your manager isn't able to quite help you with this, is the director of programs, are they able to help you? If they're not, then let's bring in HR. So it's really more of a community approach to solving problems, and everyone's on the same page about that.
Carol:
Yeah. I'm so glad you said that because I was having this conversation with someone around conflict has such a negative connotation and immediately people get defensive or on guard around things when there's a misalignment or a conflict. But I love what you said. That when people reach out, it doesn't necessarily mean something's wrong, it just means they may need help or additional resources. So changing the narrative around if someone is raising an issue that there's a problem or that there's a conflict as a negative thing, but as an opportunity. I really love that framing.
Traci:
That is true. And then what I noticed, I backed into this. So when I started in 2021, one thing that was interesting, and this had not really been something I'd been called to do explicitly, but I did it implicitly, is I was pretty much reliant on communication skills because people are seeing me in this little box. They don't have the interaction. So I have to be pretty clear. I have to be able to really say what's happening. I have to somehow convey my values without preaching to people. And what I realized though, along the way from my sense of leadership is folks who end up in leadership and coaching and mentoring, they're people that can hold a conversation, they can hold space for a conversation. It's really interesting. I love words, I love reading, I love conversation. A lot of people don't. They will shut down and that could actually be the place where you stop growing. If you can hold the conversation ... Conflict is one, it doesn't have to be gnarly. Conflict is just conflict. And I just think maybe it's the society in which we live, people are not comfortable with that.
But I think going back to those days in the shop, there was everything you could imagine. There was courtesy, there was conflict. I remember back in the day, there was the pressing comb. And I remember if someone walked into the shop and there was something going on, they weren't a customer or something was going on. I remember my grandmother just slipping the hot comb into the oven. She never had to do anything with it, but those were signs that there was something afoot. And then watching her navigate through language, not to be hostile, not to be threatening, but also to be alert, those were just little signs that were picked up. And so I've recognized that people will shut down and not hold a conversation. And if you can get through that, you can get through anything.
Carol:
Yeah. I believe that. I love that. Yeah. I remember those hot combs. I had a couple of burnt ears.
Traci:
Yeah. Oh, it was so painful.
Carol:
Those experiences.
Traci:
Yeah.
Carol:
As we talk about this idea of shifting how we think about conflict is really just conversation. And I think a lot of it comes on, do you approach it from a place of curiosity or from wanting to be right or defensive? And I think that's what causes the sparks versus let me understand what's going on. I think psychological safety on the other hand is also something that's misunderstood. It can be overused, but I think people are understanding it as well as that it feels like it means that we have to be nice and we have to be polite, which I think on the flip side, that causes toxic positivity, which is even worse and definitely shuts down the ability to have conversations and deal successfully with creating trust and safety. But in your organization, what does psychological safety look like in practice and what are the behaviors that you expect and model and reinforce around that particular idea?
Traci:
Yeah. And that I believe is something that all leaders are really dealing with now. Because I feel like in the external world, the feeling of psychological safety is not a given. We're all in different places around that. So you have folks, we have folks showing up for work who may not feel psychologically safe, period. And so how do we enter that space? So that to me is something that's changing in real time, but in my mind, what psychological safety I aspire for it to mean is that you feel comfortable. You feel comfortable going back to asking questions, being in disagreement. I think being in disagreement is really important because we might be on the same page from a professional perspective. We're a nonprofit, and so we can't bring any of the political tensions into the workplace. And so sometimes that comes up. It's like we can't go there. And it's not because it's an unsafe environment, it's just the nature of our roles. And so I try to balance that with, I'm a big proponent of trying new things, being innovative, being creative. I mess up I like to be very honest about that because I want other people to know that really if you're not messing up, you're probably being pretty status quo. And imagine with kids, there's going to be mess-ups.
And so having that as a part of our culture and letting people know that and modeling that is something that I think is very important. In those Friendly 15s, I think it's easier for me to show people that I'm human. I think it's just the nature of leadership. I think sometimes people just expect you to be perfect. And it's like, no one's perfect. And so having that ability to articulate it in appropriate ways is really important, but not to ignore it.
And when I say fail or make mistakes, it's never in relationship to child safety. It's around your curriculum with your youth. Maybe you have a youth who just hates going to plays, but you think this might be the one that actually is going to do it and they cry through the whole thing because you tried and it failed. But we're going to support you by trying new things. And this is an age of AI. And what I am discovering is that I'm leading an organization. I'm always looking at future state. Current state, I'm caring for current state, but preparing for future state. And this is the first time preparing for future state is something that I can't envision, but I have to get it ready. And so that means how are we supporting the folks on the ground who have all kinds of thoughts about AI?
But the reality is in order to be a functioning, high functioning organization, we all need to figure out what that means. And for me, a nonprofit is ... Social sector, we always have fewer resources to do the jobs that we need to do. So from what I'm learning about AI, it is going to allow people to do some of that busy work, some of that work that takes time so you can be with youth, you can be in relationships. So I see it as a positive thing, but as society, people are all over the map in terms of the implications of that. But that's what I have to think about. And so when I'm trying to cultivate an organization that is being creative and being innovative and not wanting to fail, it's going to be doubly important for the folks that are coming into the organization. Hiring and recruiting is so important. I'm working with my HR person because how do we think about hiring and recruitment when we know that we are going to have transformational change that we haven't seen? It's not seen since. It's that we have not seen. The pace of this is new and it's unprecedented, as they say.
Carol:
Yeah. I always tell people we're in the wild wild west when it comes to the AI. We are in uncharted territory for sure. There's so much that you shared in your response that I just want to unpack because I think it's so powerful in that one, when we think about psychological safety, we can't ignore the overarching culture and climate that we're in. So even when we're cultivating it within the organization where people have the opportunity to have trust and safety and conversations and be curious and make mistakes and learn from them and things of that nature, there's still the external. And we're human and we live outside of our organizations and sometimes we bring that in. So there's this interesting ... You mentioned something that I hadn't thought about, which is this balance of how do you balance people who are not feeling safe externally when they come inside the organization and how are they balancing that within? And how as a leader are you navigating that? Like you said, you don't want to ignore it, but it can't fill up your time, but it can't be ignored either because it definitely will have an impact.
And then when you couple that with something else you mentioned, which is about the changing landscape and the future and AI and being ready, I think about this idea of how are you building resilience in your culture? So people do feel like they can show up in the messiness of whatever's going on for them, come into a semblance of safety to be able to be themselves and speak up, but mostly how are we building resilience because we don't know what the future holds and because we don't know what's coming. I always say ... I talk a lot about cognitive theory and behavior and that the motivational triad of the brain is to always seek pleasure, always avoid pain and to maintain the status quo. And right now we are not in the status quo and the brain looks for an opportunity to be solid and secure. And when you don't have that, that raises anxiety and worry. So the only thing we can do is build this idea of resilience. Even though I don't know what's coming, how can I prepare myself even when I don't know what's coming?
So I say all that to say brilliance at a lot of the things that you share, but also as you think about building resilience in your organization for the future, what are some of the things that you're doing and what are some of the conversations you're having around that?
Traci:
Yeah. So right now we have two buildings here in Portland, and one of them is over near Dawson Park, across the street from Legacy Emanuel, and it's under renovation. So we're going to have a new opening in September of 2026. So we've all been working from our Gresham office or working from home and figuring that whole piece out. I think it's a wonderful opportunity in the context of this conversation. So at the end of the Biden administration, there was a report that came out from the ... What was it? Health and Human Services Director. And it was talked about a white paper on an epidemic of loneliness in the United States of America. So this whole idea where people are not together, so we're under remodel, so we're not all together. But I think as a society, people working from home, it's an interesting contrast because people say they love working from home. And we had this report that say that people are lonelier than ever. This is a long-winded answer to your question. We are really looking at the return to this office space as an opportunity to cultivate that community. So having a few days that we're there together.
I just learned that there's Oregon dogs for ... There's some nonprofit that brings in puppies. So when they come back to the office, you have puppies. Some people have lamas. I don't think we have the space for lamas. But what does it look like to have some community meals together when we're back into the office?
Carol:
Yeah.
Traci:
It seems like standard operating procedures, but it's not in my mind in this environment because I think it's pulling people into that community. We hear so often that we don't have a third space. I don't know that we have a second space in many of our organizations anymore with the working from home. And so creating that opportunity for people to get to know each other and build that trust together and maintaining those really high standards. I am a believer that competence is the antidote. Competence is the antidote to confidence. It is the antidote to resilience. I think sometimes when things get hard ... You see this with, I think, in some educational environments where people are like, "Oh, let's give them less work because they're not as capable." That actually doesn't work for anyone. Keep the standards high, be clear about what those standards are, provide the support, bring in the community. And I think that is going to really help that cohesive nature of our organization as we go through the twists and turns of what's happening in our communities. It's really important. I think that we are coming together as one, knowing that we all bring gifts that are very different, but recognize what those gifts are among each other.
Carol:
Yeah. I think that's fantastic. And I think even in the response to AI coming, this idea of, as you talked about, the competence and the understanding of what you bring to the table and understanding that there are ... And the community building. AI can't do that. And so how are we building those skills and those competencies and those communities to elevate that resilience that allows us to come together to move through what's coming in the future in a way that's supportive and creating a space where if there's trust and safety, we can all know that we can get through it together. So I love what you're talking about and putting together there.
Let's bridge to the leaders listening, because many of them lead complex operations where retention and trust are the difference between success and breakdown. So what can enterprise leaders borrow from the FriendsPDX model to build trust, retention, and resilience, as we just talked about? It could be this overcoming this isolation that you mentioned, especially when the work is mission-critical and pressure filled.
Traci:
Yeah. Well, I go back to hiring. That is a big piece of the puzzle. I remember early in my career, I would always hire ... I had this ethos. I hire happy people and it worked every time. You hire happy people, you train them and it's great.
Carol:
I love that.
Traci:
Yes. I guess. But in 2026, and really this started for a few years ago, God, those were the good old days. And so I've updated that and to hire whole people. Because I think times have been hard. People are experiencing a lot and we work in a relationship-based field, so you do really need to have that wholeness that you bring with you because it's very difficult work and we'll provide training. But I think that for us, that's a very important component and then provide those opportunities to continue to grow. Growth is critical not to stagnate. I love learning. I love, love it. And my leadership team does too. And one thing that's also very interesting with my current leadership team ... And this hasn't always been the case, they have very discreet and defined passions that have nothing to do with their role. And so I think of them individually as Renaissance leaders. And I love that about them because what I do think is, going back to that sustainability, for us not to get stressed out, we and I am not a heart surgeon. I try to put our work into perspective, have fun, we have goals, but also let's not get overly serious. And the more that we can bring our whole self to work that's appropriate, it's going to be better for everyone.
So I want to hear about your cooking. I want to hear about your band. I want to hear about your master's degree and literature that has nothing to do with your role. And I think that raises the bar for everyone in terms of interest and curiosity and deep curiosity, I think is really important. It's just that growth. My founder, Duncan Campbell of the organization, I've been fortunate enough that I've had him as a mentor since I started and having some sense of connection to the DNA and the roots of your organization has really been helpful because of course, and he was really great. He said, "You're leading this organization. I'm just here to help." But it was really helpful to mine, why did you start this? Why did you do it that way? Because I think as people come through, you can bend, but I think it's important to stay true, especially us. We've won 11 years in a row, most admired. We have a business model. It's a business case. We do the work, it's longevity, but it works. That's really important.
And Duncan was a businessman. He started this organization when he was 50 after working in the timber industry, and he had a business model. That's important for all of us to remember because mission creep can happen. AI is cool. You know what? We have these wonderful programs that we can do for parents. Let's reign it in. We are always going to provide support where we can. This is about youth from preschool to 12th grade. And just having that ability to go back to where it started, I think for me, has been very helpful.
Carol:
Yeah. Having that north star for sure that's guiding you through. So good. So last question, and this is from a people forward signature. If you could leave leaders with one shift, one practice or mindset to be more people forward, what would it be?
Traci:
So when my daughter was seven and I was having some work problem, I don't know how she was involved, she said, "Mom, you should just let them know there's enough sunshine for everyone." And I always carry that with me because to me, it is her translation of the difference between abundance and scarcity. And I think as leaders, there is always going to be enough. There's going to be enough money, there's going to be enough space for you to grow. I think if leaders really believe that there's an abundance and that things aren't going to fall apart, it serves everyone well. Going back to what I said earlier, nonprofits never have the resources that they need, that's okay. We just can't do all the things, but we can do the most important things. And I think that that ethos, if people hold that close to their heart. To me, most of the unpleasantness, not just in social sector, but in many places where there are issues, it is because people have a scarcity mentality. They're worried and they can feel threatened or they don't give as much as they might be able to give to someone because somehow they're thinking that might not leave enough for them. The abundance way of thinking and a growth mindset, I think are just wonderful things for each leader to hold.
Carol:
I love that. I love that. And we will end on that note. Traci, thank you so much for joining me today. I am walking away with something I hope every listener holds onto. That people forward leadership is not soft or nice to have, but it's a structure. It's thoughtful. It's a thoughtful process. It's intentional. It's a commitment to building the conditions where people can thrive and outcomes can actually happen. So I just want to thank you again for the richness that you shared around your legacy and your community and your viewpoints. I love the Friendly 15 and hire happy people and whole people.
Traci:
Adaptive leadership.
Carol:
Yes. Yes. For sure. For sure. I love that. And listen, for everyone listening, if this episode resonated, share it with one leader who's trying to build stability in a world that keeps shifting. Thanks for listening. Until next time, keep leading people forward and I will see you soon.
