Episode #48: Is Coaching Right For You?
Hey Rebels! I’m so glad you’re here and checking out another amazing episode. I’m really excited today because we’re talking about coaching. What I do and what I absolutely love. And if you’ve been listening to the podcast you know I’m a coach and to be clear I’m, a master certified executive and leadership coach for high-achieving professional women in midlife who are looking to pivot, transition, or advance in their careers. I’m also a personal brand strategist helping my clients develop a compelling professional and digital presence that positions them as the sought-after authority in their field.
Coaching has evolved over the years. In the past, hiring a career coach meant that your performance was deficient and needed some improvement, so the focus was all about rehabilitation. Career coaches were always popular but they were usually found at university Career Centers or were made available to employees who were being laid off and needed to find new work. Over time, however, executive coaches became popular as a developmental tool to help high-potential leaders earmarked for promotion fine tune their skills and position themselves for success. But these were "velvet rope" experiences, meaning only high-level executives would be allowed access to this level of support. It was a well kept secret. Today, all of that has changed.
Also, life coaches, once looked upon as a dubious profession, has gained a strong footing as a reputable profession with the emergence of exceptional top tier training programs and the popularity of people using life coaches in the movies and media.
While people still use career coaches to land their next job and fine tune their resumes, today, it’s the smart, savvy careerists who seek out the support of an executive or life coach to help them gain clarity on their direction, navigate organizational cultural, overcome obstacles, and create goals and objectives to get ahead and get what they want. It’s no longer a “velvet rope” experience. In many cases, the organization will pay for the services of an executive or leadership coach. But if the company isn’t paying, how do you know if investing in coaching is right for you? It’s both an investment in time and money (executive coaches could cost up to $50,000) in yourself and your future. So how do you know?
Let me first say I believe EVERYONE needs a coach. And let me further say that those who you often admire and may even use as an example in your own life or career, most likely have a coach supporting them in achieving everything you’re watching them achieve.
Whether or not to invest in coaching requires you to get over the initial thought that many woman have who aren’t familiar with making such investments in themselves, which is the thought “I can figure this out all on my own.” I call it the “I can do it all by myself’ syndrome. I too suffered from this syndrome before I invested in and hired my first coach. Then I spent the next year wondering what the hell took me so long and where I’d be if I’d only hired her sooner. Once I understood that asking for support doesn’t diminish my brilliance, the world of possibilities opened up to me. When I realized that I’m incredibly smart, successful, and capable, BUT don’t know everything, life became a whole lot easier.
The truth is coaching is available to anyone who wants to improve their lives. And I mean every aspect of their lives, including their careers, which happens to be my focus. I mean why do you think people like Serena Williams, Simone Biles, or any other top level athletes have a coach in the first place? You guessed it, to IMPROVE, to get better, to be at the top of their gain. They’ve never sat around and said, “I can figure this out on my own. After all, I’ve been playing for a while now.” No! That’s crazy.
The problem with diagnosing and trying to solve your own issues is that you're too close to the situation, most likely haven’t spent time gaining awareness of your self-sabotaging patterns, and you haven’t been trained how to manager your mind. That’s why top athletes invest in the BEST coaching they can find. That’s why even Serena knows how to play tennis, she still hires coaches, whether it’s to improve your wicked backhand, level up her game, or manage your mind, honing it to become the mindset of a champion.
Studies have shown over and over again that women are less likely than men to ask for help or for what they want. We’ve been socialized from an early age not to prioritize our own interests and to focus instead on the needs of others. The messages we received growing up from parents, teachers, other children, the media, and society in general have been so powerful that now that we’re grown, we’ve become unconscious to this internalized conditioning, even while we’re perpetuating it.
Now the obvious reason people get a coach is if you’re prepping for a pivot, move or change in your life or you’re struggling with something. But the truth is you don’t have to be in trouble or struggling to hire a coach. In fact, everything could be going quite well. You may be living your best life at let’s say a 7.5 out of 10. But imagine what your life and career could be if you were a 10 out of 10? What are you leaving on the table? In what ways are you settling for good enough (I did an entire podcast episode on settling and the dangers of that so be sure to check that episode out)? What if only a few simple tweaks to your thoughts, mindset, feelings, or behaviors could take you, your life, and career from ordinary to extraordinary?
We’re not trained to see our own blindspots and limitations, particularly because you’ve been living comfortably with them for well over 30 or 40 years. That’s why one of the best gifts I ever gave myself was the gift of an objective observer who helped me see the 100 different ways I was playing small, holding on to old patterns, narratives and limiting beliefs, and failing to step into my full potential…even when I was already “successful” from societal standards.
As a coach I primarily work with successful women. But that doesn’t mean they don’t need support to confidentially talk through specific issues regarding their team or boss. Support as they transition into a new role or into a senior level of leadership. Or negotiate their salary for a new position or a raise for an existing one. To gain greater confidence while overcoming self-doubts or imposter syndrome. To unravel old patterns and habits so they can show up powerfully in the world. Or to create boundaries and manage their time to prevent further burnout and overwhelm and create greater efficiency to achieve the results they want. When talking to your peers isn’t enough. When your mentor or sponsor is only focused on strategy and can’t help you with the day-to-day mindset work. When you’ve read the leadership books, attended the conferences, and listened to the podcasts and you’re still stuck and lack clarity on the next best direction in your career. When you’re thinking, “I don’t want to be dealing with the same issues or be in the same place a year from now.” Then you may want to consider getting a coach. Check out the episodes where I’ve interviewed some of my clients about the results they got from coaching and why they sought out a coach to begin with.
Now, while I shared just a few reasons why you might decide to invest in coaching, let me also be super clear on what coaching is NOT. Unlike going to a doctor or a mechanic, coaches don’t do the work for you. At least not this coach. The greatest gift I can give my clients is the ability to tap into and learn to trust their own wisdom, to understand how to manage their brain, and learn how to release themselves from their past to step into what’s possible in their future. When you learn how to do that, you’ll always be able to get any result you want in your life and career, long after our coaching engagement ends. For me, it’s about mastering the inner and outer game strategies, which you’ve heard me talk about a lot on this podcast.
The inner game is mastery of your thoughts, beliefs, and feelings. The outer game is a mastery of the strategies and tactics that will get you where you want to go. This is critical because if you’re weighed down by limiting beliefs and false narratives, and struggle with committing to what matters to you, you won't be able to do the work or what it takes to achieve the extraordinary success you desire and deserve.
It’s not just about taking action or having an accountability buddy. We’ve been trained to believe it only takes setting a goal and taking action on it to get what you want. But what happens when you feel fear and doubt and don’t take those actions, when you don’t meet the goal and start to judge yourself for it, or you fail to set goals that stretch you into what’s possible, or worse you meet the goal but at great sacrifice to your mental, emotional, and physical health, all because you never learned how to master the inner game.
I also believe that good coaches use proven frameworks. That they have a methodology that can you help tap into your inner wisdom while reaching new levels in your life. As a coach I use a proven frameworks in my practice to help my clients achieve their desired objectives. My inner game framework is based on a cognitive behavioral model that helps you use neuroplasticity to change your thoughts, feelings and behaviors. There’s also a bit of positive psychology and appreciative inquiry that informs my work. I use the Triple-A Framework for those seeking clarity on their next step or move in their profession, which includes Ascertaining information for career clarity and confidence, Amplifying your brilliance so you’re always the sought-after choice, and Activating your strategic plan to align and achieve your goals. And my Thrive Leadership Framework is used for those wanting to excel in senior leadership, which includes the three pillars of Identity (understanding your purpose, plan and vision), Voice (knowing your communication style, emotional management, and visibility), and Practice (establishing boundaries, a management practice, and adaptability/resilience). And within these frameworks I’m always coaching my clients to master both the inner and outer game. Establishing first a belief in what’s possible, not simply a reliance on their past or what they’ve already done. Again, I recommend listening to a what clients had to say about my frameworks and methods to give you greater insight to know if coaching is right for you, and in particular, if coaching with me is right for you.
Is coaching right for you?
Well, all I’ll say is you want to make sure you have a coach that’s all about helping you see you’re perfect and fabulous just the way you are, you’re not something to be fixed you just need greater awareness to achieve your desire to do something new. That’s all about holding space for you to listen to your own voice and tap into your internal wisdom that as always been there. That’s all about helping you learn how to trust and prioritize yourself and follow through with your commitments to yourself. That’s all about helping you turn "what keeps you up at night" into "what gets you up every morning!” And that’s EXACTLY what I’m all about.
If that sounds about right for you, then I invite you to book an exploration call with me. Together we’ll explore your needs and whether this is right for you. There’s still time before I close out for the year. Or if you already know I’m what you’ve been looking for, go ahead and fill out an application and let’s get to work! All the links are in the show notes.
Well that’s it for today’s episode Rebels! I hope you found this episode eye-opening and informative and gave you something to really think about as you continue to step into the next iteration of your life and career.
Until next time, have an amazingly rebellious week. See you soon!