How to Work the Holiday Work Party (Without Regrets)

Watch my AM Northwest segment on this topic at the end of the article for a quick summary.

Building a reputation as a valued, competent professional takes time and effort. It requires consistent performance, relationship-building, and the demonstration of your character day after day. But one night at the office holiday party can undo all that hard work in just a few hours, and it happens more often than you might think.

A FinanceBuzz survey of over 1,000 workers found that 63% of employees report having regrets about their holiday party conduct, with drinking too much and speaking negatively about their workplace tied as the top regrets at 31% each. Another survey of 2,000 working Americans revealed that 26% have done something they regret at a company party, with the top offenses being hooking up with a co-worker, saying something rude, and participating in office gossip.

And it's not just junior employees making missteps. Half of workers have witnessed a manager drinking too much at an end-of-year party, and 31% have seen a manager act inappropriately with staff. These moments don't just create awkward Monday mornings. They can trigger formal complaints, damage working relationships, and even lead to disciplinary action.

The good news is that with a bit of preparation and intention, you can turn your holiday party from a potential reputation risk into a genuine career opportunity.

1. Remember the "Work" in Work Party

Even if your holiday office party is at a trendy restaurant, a hotel ballroom, or your CEO's home, remember that the employee handbook doesn't disappear after 5 p.m. The same professional standards that apply in the conference room apply during cocktail hour.

Think of the "work" in "holiday work party" as silent, but still very much present. A survey by Resume.io found that 72% of managers cited alcohol as the root cause of the most memorable office party incidents. What are the behaviors most commonly flagged as problems? Personal oversharing (36%) and political or religious debates (23%).

HR and legal professionals remind us that companies can still be held liable for what happens at employer-sponsored events, which means behavior at these parties can trigger formal complaints and disciplinary action. As Warren Buffett famously said, It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it.

The bottom line: It isn't Vegas. What happens there absolutely follows you back to the office.

2. Treat It as a Visibility Opportunity

Your holiday party is often the only time all year when senior leaders, executives, board members, and colleagues from other departments are in the same room, relaxed and open to conversation. This is a rare chance to build relationships that would otherwise take months of scheduling.

Your goal isn't to pitch yourself or recite your résumé. It's to let key people see you as a thoughtful, curious human being, not just a job title. Come prepared with genuine questions like, "What are you most excited about for next year?" or "What brought you to this organization?"

Why does this matter? Research consistently shows that visibility and internal relationships are critical drivers of career advancement. A longitudinal study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that networking behaviors are directly related to salary growth over time. And the connections that help your career most aren't always the people you know best; they're often the casual acquaintances who can introduce you to new circles and opportunities.

Perhaps most compelling is research from Harvard Business Review. They found that employees with senior leader sponsors who advocate for them are 20% more likely to be promoted. The holiday party is one of the few occasions where you can naturally connect with potential sponsors outside the pressure of work.

The bottom line: Visibility is career capital. Use this occasion to make authentic connections, and you'll be investing in your professional future.

3. Be Strategic About Your Plus-One

If your company allows you to bring a guest, keep in mind that your plus-one becomes part of your professional brand for the evening. The person standing next to you is making an impression, whether you realize it or not.

If your partner isn't holiday-party ready, perhaps because they hate small talk, tend to overdo it with drinks, or would be visibly uncomfortable, don't feel guilty about coming solo. Etiquette experts note that plus-ones are a courtesy, not a requirement. Even though 77% of business executives now allow plus-ones at holiday parties (up significantly from prior years), that doesn't mean bringing someone is expected or necessary.

If you do bring a guest, take time to coach them beforehand by sharing the dress code, explaining who's who, and flagging any sensitive topics to avoid. You want someone who can hold a professional conversation and reflect well on you, not become the main character of Monday morning's debrief.

The bottom line: Either bring someone who can elevate your presence, or use the evening to focus on building your own relationships.

4. Go In With a Simple Game Plan

Before you arrive, decide on your numbers, like how long you will stay, how many drinks you will have (if any—if you're not a drinker, abstain without apology), and who you would like to connect with. That tiny bit of structure keeps you from drifting into trouble.

An ezCater survey found that 45% of employees admit to feeling stressed about attending office holiday functions, with younger workers feeling this anxiety most acutely. For Gen Z workers, 60% cited their biggest fear as being alone with no one to talk to.

If you're introverted or secretly dread the office party, don't skip it entirely, just try to shrink it. Definitely give yourself a plan with a clear arrival time, a clear exit time, and a small goal, like three honest conversations, and then I'm out. That way, you still get the visibility without the overwhelm.

Have an exit strategy ready so you can leave gracefully. Use something like: "It was great catching up. I'm going to say hi to a few more people before I head out." This keeps you from getting stuck in conversations that run too long or lingering past your own boundaries.

The bottom line: A little intention turns a risky night into a smart career move.

5. Leaders: Be the Host, Not Just a Guest

If you're in a leadership role, you're not just a guest; you're setting the tone for the event's entire culture. Your behavior signals what's acceptable and what's not.

Make the rounds. Ensure people feel welcomed. Introduce colleagues who don't know each other. And keep an eye on the edges of the room, watching for introverts, new hires, and folks standing alone. A simple, I'm so glad you're here, how have your first few months been?, can make someone's entire evening.

Avoid clustering only with your peers or your "favorites." When leaders visibly include people across levels, departments, and backgrounds, it sends a powerful message about the organization's values. And when sponsors connect with high-potential employees, real career impact follows. Research from the Center for Talent Innovation found that 71% of sponsors select protégés of the same race or gender as themselves, which means intentional outreach across differences is especially meaningful.

Model healthy boundaries by pacing your own drinking, arriving on time, and staying engaged. And remind your team that attendance is appreciated but not mandatory, especially for caregivers, non-drinkers, or those with religious observances that may conflict. Provide other ways for them to connect during work hours that feel authentic to them. 

The bottom line: When you circulate, include people on the margins, and model healthy boundaries, you turn a potentially stressful night for some employees into a genuine moment of belonging.

The Final Word

Your holiday work party is part celebration, part opportunity. Treat it like work, use it to build genuine connections, choose your plus-one wisely, and walk in with a simple game plan. If you're a leader, take it one step further and make sure you're the host, not just a guest.

Do this well, and you can leave the party with more than just a plate of cookies; you may leave with added credibility, visibility, and trust. And in today's workplace, that's worth far more than any open bar.

-------

This article was written by Dr. Carol Parker Walsh, JD, PhD, an award-winning executive coach, organizational strategist, and founder of Carol Parker Walsh Consulting Group, a leadership development firm that helps organizations cultivate People-Forward Leaders™ and high-performing teams.

A CNBC Leadership Expert and contributor to Forbes, Newsweek, and Entrepreneur, Dr. Parker Walsh has been featured on LinkedIn Learning, ABC, CBS, Fast Company, and Fortune. She's a Fellow with the Harvard Institute of Coaching, and her thought leadership has reached more than 100,000 professionals worldwide.

A nationally recognized keynote speaker, TEDx presenter, and four-time Brandon Hall Group HCM Excellence Award recipient, she empowers leaders and organizations to thrive amid disruption by building trust, alignment, and adaptive cultures that drive performance and retention.